Thursday, June 2, 2011

Dream Gear 75-in-1 (Part 2)

I decided to break my routine of sitting around, so here I'm back with more crappy games from our friends at Waixing and Nice Code. And in case you're wondering, I'm sorry, but my schedule is too busy to teach how to draw the number two as good as me. Hope you can understand.
Now let's see more crappy games, shall we?

This is a strange maze game apparently starred by Ariel from The Little Mermaid (Ariel sounds like a man's name. Meh). This game uses the improved graphics the DreamGear hardware support, yet it doesn't shows: this game is plain ugly and meaningless. You have to guide Ariel (Ariel is a-- oh I already said that) through a maze and collect all the coins while avoiding a green thing who stalks you (I swear I had seen that gut before but I don't remember in which game) and a giant octopus. After collecting all coins you go to the center of the screen to grab a sword. This game is also known as "Sword boy". Next game, please.
Another "Nature Clan" game. There are several of these games on this ROM. They're all starred by the same guy from "Mirror Devil World". It seems the Waixing guys wanted to create a sage of bad games. This games reminds me a little of an obscure Technos game, actually the first they made: "Eggs", also known as "Scrambled Eggs". The objective here is to kick eggs falling from the sky to the sea while avoiding the bad guys who come from the hatched eggs. The levels ends abruptly, showing once more that Waixing is the Chinese version of Active Enterprises.
This game has an awesome plot: Santa Claus has a secret vice that hides from her wife, Merry Christmas. He's a pot addict. Unfortunately, it's hard to grow pot with such a harsh climate like the one on the North Pole. So, he makes a deal with the Devil: in exchange of an unlimited pot supply, he will have to fight God in the sky to put an end to his realm. After defeating God by throwing a sled to his forehead, Santa Claus realizes that if he becomes God, not only he will have an unlimited pot supply by the means of his magic powers: he will also govern the world with absolute power. Ignoring the deal he made with the Devil, he starts spreading his evilness to the world, starting with the little Timmy which is at home wishing Santa brings him a new bicycle. Santa realizes Timmy's wish and he immediately think: "You want presents, huh? You'll have your presents, little wanker". So he starts trowing shit at the little Timmy. Touch the rays or the bombs and you're dead. This is a really bad clone of "Kaboom!" for the Atari 2600 in case you haven't noticed. One curious thing about it is that the roller will fall at the same time as the lighting ray. And also, the difficulty of the game never increases. At all.

This has to be the most annoying Tetris clone ever! First of all, it lacks both animations and sound effects: it only has an annoying music loop, which is the same from "Octopus". And second, it has the most craptastic controls I've ever seen. And not just on a Tetris clone. Sometimes the piece will not respond your commands at all, and other times it will move at an outrageous speed. Also known as "Strange Pop Pop".
Oh, one more thing about this game: it lets you choose the falling speed, right? But if you select the 9th speed and you wait exactly 3 seconds, this will be the result:
I told you the controls were bad.

Not happy with ruining Tetris, these guys decided to mess with Circus Charlie. Oh, that's creative. This silly Circus Charlie clone has more levels than the original game, but it doesn't matters since the game only gets somewhat difficult starting with level 6. Most of the time you'll be jumping still frogs or elephants.
Oh God, I'm tired of this! I quit, I can't review all of these games. But don't worry, I'll be back soon to review more obscure games. Stay tuned.